Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You are a genius and a whore.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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