I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
