Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
