you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
