i used baking grease as lip gloss
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
