A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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