I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
