I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
