Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Your cock deserves a montage
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
