im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize