Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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