Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
