I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
