Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
