I think i peed on brittanys purse
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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