As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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