are you so shy because you have an std?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
