it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
How naked do you want me to be?
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