I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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