we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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