careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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