matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
