worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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