We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Farmville is her only friend.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
