careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
