On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
