are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize