I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize