Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
