we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
