i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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