HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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