oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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