pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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