p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
