i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
