At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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