Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
worst night to have a conscience
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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