I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
