I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
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