dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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