The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
