i permit you to call me
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
