We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
