Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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