An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
