and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize