I am puke
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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