Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
