Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
