just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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