We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
