she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
