I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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