The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Randomize
