oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize