That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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