I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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