I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
