I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You need Xanax blowdarts
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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