would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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