so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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