I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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