I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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