Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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