I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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