it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
