i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
