I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
