i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
They are going to name an STD after you.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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