did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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