can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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