I'm really into asian looking animals
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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