Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
