You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
