come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
