I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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